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    當前位置:主頁 > 福音 > 感恩見證 > 似乎憂愁 卻常常喜樂

    似乎憂愁 卻常常喜樂

    作者:基督教華人網     來源:基督教華人網 時間:2018-11-27 09:58 奉獻支持
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    歡迎弟兄姊妹將我們的微信內容分享給朋友們。

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    我們的微信號:meirijidujiao





    許多人第一眼看到我時,馬上就想問我:“你怎么會坐在輪椅上?你又為何看起來那么喜樂?”好奇之心,人皆有之。但愿人人對主也能有這樣強烈的好奇心,能更多來認識祂。因為主就是我喜樂的源頭,是主拯救了我,給了我新的生命,使我不再憑自己活,乃是向祂活。

      與許多人一樣,我從小做事都是憑自己的努力,靠自己的能力打拼,也終于打下了一片天地。因著在國家某部委工作的緣故,常與z /-府高層官員在一起,并經常接觸各國駐華使節及著名跨國公司高層管理人員。許多人都羨慕我,但我并不以此為滿足,想要開創自己的事業。于是一九九二年來美求學,加入了中國留學生艱苦而“經典”的奮斗之路:睡地板,餐館打工,申請獎學金,家人陪讀,拿學位,找工作,辦綠卡……終日奔波追逐。

      我在美國的兩所大學就讀時,都有人來向我傳福音。那時心里剛硬,不相信有神。在俄亥俄州時,有人對我傳講基督,我連圣經都沒讀過,卻瞪著眼睛歪理斜說,與人辯論,最后把人氣跑了,還自鳴得意。然而,一九九五年借著兒子出生,親眼見到了一個奇妙新生命的誕生,那哭聲觸動了我,心里感到一種強烈的震撼。我首次真正思考生命源頭的問題,心想,也許有神吧?!

      取得學位后,我沒有感到滿足,反而覺得應該得到一個更理想、更有名氣的學位。于是一九九九年來到著名的麻省理工學院,主修工商管理碩士學位。因著接觸許多名人,自許將來也要大干一番,定可和他們一樣成為工商鉅子。以前我沒有拜金思想,不屑與滿身銅臭味的商人為伍,但是畢業后,卻在名利中尋夢。

      正當我經常熬夜,為著名利拼搏之際,一向健朗的身體,突然不聽使喚。那是二零零零年十二月,我正在上海出差,只感覺腿麻、背痛,一夜間就完全無法動彈,整個過程如同作了一場惡夢。凌晨五點,嘗到“身不由己”的滋味,只能喊著:“神啊,幫助我,救救我!”我這個頂著三個碩士的光環、自覺高人一等的人,如今卻跌至谷底,絕望至極。經過檢查,群醫也束手無策,只有勸說趕緊回美就醫。

      我被擔架抬進機場,卻被拒絕登機。眼看距起飛僅有二十分鐘,心中著急,萬般無奈,想見機長,但苦無機會。這時,有位外國旅客走來,用英語問我:“你信主嗎?”我說:“是的,我信!”他便開始為我禱告,而我的淚水就象斷了線的珠子,大顆大顆地落下?尥旰,焦慮不安已一掃而空。外面情形依舊,心里卻平靜舒暢,更似有音樂響起。不久,當機長出來簽份文件時,竟答應和我談話。結果只問了一句,我就獲準上機。

      十二月十四日抵達波士頓后,我立刻住進醫院。因著緊張、恐懼,連著六天六夜不能入眠,醫生開出最強的安眠藥也無效。根據診斷,我得的病是原因不明且少見的脊髓神經炎,由于免疫系統及神經系統不正常出血,使脊髓受傷,全身動彈不得。那時,很擔心出血點亂竄,會影響到腦部及心臟,且因雙手發麻,每天生活在絕望、悲哀,戰兢和恐懼之中,就怕一覺睡去,永不醒來。精神和身體上所承擔的痛苦,只能用生不如死來形容。

      起初所有想來探病者,都遭我拒絕。直到有一天家人說:“有人想來為你禱告”,我才說:“好吧!”我的人生似乎已到盡頭,不知如何是好。

      很快地,劍橋召會就來了一班人。當他們為我禱告時,我的眼淚象決堤的水一般,傾瀉而下,這輩子的淚幾乎要流盡了。借著禱告,我得到莫名的平安,當晚大睡了一場。后來才知道,我家人曾隨鄰居去參加過兩次基督徒聚會。這班與我無親無故、未曾謀面的基督徒,無論早、晚,都自發地送來食物,并陪我讀經、禱告。從這些弟兄姊妹無私的愛深深地打動了我的心。

      有一天,我對主說:“如果這病不能徹底康復,請至少讓我上肢可以動!笔露瘴蚁胍芙,弟兄們在二十八日替我施浸后,脖子就可以動了,上肢也漸漸恢復知覺。我的環境相當艱難,但神實在是聽禱告,只要一禱告,任何事都不能再攪擾我,并能以平和的心態,對待這些打擊。

      二零零一年四月九日,殘酷的宣判如晴天霹靂般臨到。醫生說,經過各樣手術、化療及五次換血,一切所能作的全作完了。原以為身體會好起來,未料終生要與輪椅為伴。我不知道當時自己是怎樣離開醫院的,只覺得四周黑暗,頭腦混沌,似乎感到強烈的死亡氣息。

      更多的打擊迎面而來,五月得知妻子罹患癌癥后,我陷入痛苦的深淵。三天三夜失眠,開始怨神,完全活在自己里面。感謝主,漸漸地,里面復活的生命催促我要與弟兄們一同禱告。第四天,我和弟兄們一同禱告,主讓我認識了兩件事:一是要學會凡事交托,將一切憂愁掛慮卸給神;二是讓主成為我的智慧與能力,去照顧好家人。主聽了禱告,使我很快平靜下來,能面對復健和適應新的生活。

      十月底,我又大病一場,住院兩個多星期。弟兄姊妹們自動分工,一些輪流在家里照顧兩個孩子,一些在醫院照顧我。主啊,我是這樣不堪的罪人,但你卻從不撇棄我。只有這時,我才深刻知道,你的愛是如何地長闊高深、無私雋永;只有這時,我才真正感到,你是舉目無親之人最親愛的。

      主說:“你們在世上有苦難,在我里面有平安!彪m不明白神的旨意,但知祂必不會錯,我只需順服。將來如何,我不知道,但深信我所信的主,必保守我到路終。人的生命、氣息都在乎祂。只要我還有氣息,就是就要讓祂使用我來傳福音。求主充滿我,以剛強的靈扶持我。

      這一年多來,我進出醫院多次,也曾住院療養達數月之久。在醫院里,主賜給我傳福音的靈,使我能放膽講說主的話。主借著我將福音帶給病患,那些曾和我以往一樣活在絕望、沮喪、黑暗中的人,有不少護士和醫生也借著我傳福音而得救。

      有人問我:“為什么上天不公平,讓這些事都臨到你?”我的回答是:“‘乃’是要在我身上顯明神的作為!(參約九3下)圣經中許多的話,都使我受益:“似乎在死,看哪,我們卻活著;似乎受管教,卻不被治死;似乎憂愁,卻常常喜樂……”(林后六9-10);“但我們有這寶貝在瓦器里,要顯明這超越的能力,是屬于神,不是出于我們”(林后四7)。

      朋友們,主如何地愛了我,祂也如何愛每一位祂所造的人。希望你們能盡早來認識祂,接受祂作生命,同來享受祂,進入祂懷抱,人生變美妙!

      “所以我們不喪膽,反而我們外面的人雖然在毀壞,我們里面的人卻日日在更新。因為我們這短暫輕微的苦楚,要極盡超越的為我們成就永遠重大的榮耀!保ǜ缌侄嗪髸恼率潦吖潱




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    由于多數弟兄姊妹經濟都很緊張,請大家憑感動和個人能力奉獻!我們相信主定會預備!我們從未也決不會主動聯系各位肢體請求捐助,請弟兄姊妹們知悉。
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